Her Boyfriend Dumped Her After She Said She Was Uncomfortable With Him Spending The Weekend With His Ex
Three months ago, this 29-year-old woman started seeing her 26-year-old boyfriend, and they got along wonderfully.
Boundaries and communication are important to her boyfriend, and they are easily able to discuss any problems they encounter as a couple.
Going into the relationship, she was aware that her boyfriend mainly has female friends. But as soon as things got serious between them, she noticed her boyfriend has terrible boundaries with his friends and talks to these girls a lot – including one of his exes.
“We recently got into an argument of sorts because he told me he wanted to go on a weekend trip to visit his ex in Boston,” she explained.
“His ex knows he is now seeing someone. They are very close friends and dated 4 years ago for around 3 years long distance. However, he is not close with his biological family and considers her family to be his family, spends holidays with them etc.”
“They also go on trips together sometimes with her little sister. He asked me if I would be okay with this, and I said no, but I would not stop him. He was worried and upset by this, and I asked him why go if it was causing so much strife between us.”
The day after they got into this disagreement, she phoned up her boyfriend and admitted she wasn’t being entirely truthful with him.
She pointed out that she was uneasy with the majority of his female friends and that the trip made her upset.
She kept going, outlining that if they couldn’t come to some sort of a compromise, perhaps they weren’t a good fit for one another.
Chris – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
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That was hardly the first time she addressed incompatibility with her boyfriend over his friends. He’s said things in the past that made her concerned about one friend in particular, and she caught him texting his ex in the early morning hours yet ignoring her.
“After some back and forth, he asked me if I’d be willing to give him time to create boundaries, and being so angry and hurt, I said no,” she said.
“He ended up saying he needed a moment to think and called me back, doubling down. Saying he should be able to go on trips with any of his female friends and he feels they already have boundaries.”
Trying to add more context, she said that she didn’t think her boyfriend wanted to compromise, but she did want to still be in a relationship with him.
Her boyfriend was obviously over her, though, and asked if they could meet up in two days to have a face-to-face conversation. When she did get to see him in person, he revealed that he believes they’re 10% incompatible and 90% compatible but that 10% is too great for him to sweep under the rug.
He admitted he feels their personalities are much too different to continue dating before saying it’s pretty much always been something he’s thought about; the trip to see his ex didn’t spark that.
Her boyfriend officially dumped her since he feels things can’t work between them, and they’re not the perfect match.
“He also said I was right about a lot of things I said, but also that I was correct in the fact that he wouldn’t have compromised in regards to this trip or any future trips,” she continued.
“Was I wrong for bringing this up so early into dating and saying I wouldn’t give him a chance to fix things in the heat of the moment? I regret how I approached this, but also feel maybe it was for the best if he wasn’t willing to compromise.”
Do you think her boyfriend really dumped her because he’s not over his ex?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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